Day After Easter Reflection

What a wonderful Easter Weekend we had at the Smith home!  My heart is so full of gratitude.  I have been reminded over and over again of what a precious gift the Lord gave us in His son, Jesus!

Through all of the goodies, egg hunts, and festivities, our third child (to be) was on my mind and heart even more than usual.  I have had an overlying theme in my spirit over this entire Holy Week.

I was once an orphan - spiritually.  This year, more than any, I am reminded of that.  I was once an orphan and I deserve death (Romans 6:23).  But thank God He sent His son to endure death so that I could have Life.  What wonderful GRACE!

This is the poem that our agency sent us on Easter Morning.  I have to share!

An Orphan's Prayer on Easter


Dear Lord,

Thank You, our Father on this Easter Day
For the love that you shared, the gift that you gave.

We really don’t know what we would have done,
If you hadn’t planned Easter and sent us “Your Son.”

In the fields of despair we all would have stayed,
Lost and alone…and, oh so afraid.

Helpless and hungry, begging for bread,
Longing for love, so weak and distressed.

Thank you for hearing each “orphan prayer” said,
For the promises you whispered, the hope that you sent.

On this Easter morning we rejoice and we pray,
For the families you sent us, and the ones on their way.

For those who give care and bestow gifts of love,
For others who come to help and share hugs!

Our Father in Heaven we ask in your name,
Please watch over the orphans needing help and who wait.

Please fill up their hearts with Your Hope and Your Strength,
Bless all your orphaned children on This Holy Easter Day.

Rejoicing Together This Day!

With Love,
Your Children... 
...who are orphan’s no more!

-J Beazely

I also want to share some other exciting news that we got from our agency this month . . . . After starting out at #'s 66 boy list and 88 girl list, we have made it to, yes my friends, SINGLE DIGITS!!  For the month of March we stand at . . .

BOY LIST

GIRL LIST

Thank you for your continued prayers as we bring this little one into our home.
Happy Monday!

Jenni

Sweet Reunion!

Imagine 450 adoptive mommas in the same place for 72 hours. . . lots to talk about! So much to talk about that I barely got any pictures, but I did get a couple! A few MS adoptive mommas headed to Atlanta to the Created for Care 2012 retreat.

I'm not much of a writer, but when something happens that is so God-sized, I feel a responsibility to share it on my blog.  I count it a blessing that I got to get away and retreat a little.  I was able to spend some time in prayer without interruption.  On the adoption journey, you hear a million comments, lots of opinions, and a ton of questions - some valid, and some not so valid.  Just to state a few. . .


- oh, can you not have any more children of your own?
- well, it's becoming a trend, is this like an 'Angelina Jo Lee' thing?
- why would you adopt a child when you can birth a 3rd child?
- you are adopting a child from Eth*op*a, so......will he/she be black?
- why are you adopting an infant when there are older children who need a home?
- why are you adopting from Africa when there are kids in the US to adopt?


Like I said, some valid, some not so valid, however. . .  quite entertaining!  So, I'm sure there are people out there that have no doubts, but not me.  I'm admitting it, I frequently assess our decision to adopt an infant from Eth*op*a. And, I begin to ask myself questions much like the ones above.  And, because the Lord is faithful and I know in the bottom of my heart that this is soooo right, He always always always reminds me.  As He did at the retreat.  I began to pray. . "Lord, I know you have confirmed that we are to adopt an infant from Eth*op*a a million times over, but I just need another confirmation."  The wait has been so long, I get resistance from people a good bit, and you learn to know a "you have got to be crazy" look from a mile away.  But, you just keep on trucking, and you keep on praying for affirmation from the audience of One, the One who really matters.  I prayed boldly. . "God, please speak through someone here, someone whom I would least expect, and give me your peace in that person's words."  Well, I am walking to my room several hours later and I hear someone say my name, my maiden name by the way.  And, I recognize Molly.  Molly, who I had worked with 15 years ago at a summer camp in Florida.  There were only six college kids chosen from the Southeast to work at the camp.  Because there were so few of us on staff, we got really close.  Well, time moves on and you grow apart. . . and, since she is the only person I know not on facebook, we really lost touch!  The reunion was great . . in so many ways.  We sat up until wee hours of the morning catching up on life.  She adopted and our stories were so unbelievably similar.  She has 2 biological kids just like me and she has adopted internationally once and is in the process again.  She had no idea at the time, but as she talked, the Lord answered so many of my questions through her words, and I left our reunion with an overwhelming sense of God's goodness and peace.


And for fun and proof . . . here we are 15 years ago

And present day. . 

God is just faithful.  He is so faithful.  Even if I had prayed that prayer and Molly had not been there, He would still be faithful.  I am learning that God answers all prayers, it just may not be the answer we want.  But when we do ask for things in His will, and His answer is 'yes, watch this'. . what a sweet moment that is!


And, I am sure some of you are wondering the answers to my above questions.  Well, hmmm. . . 
-We CAN have more children, but there IS a global orphan crisis.  It's complicated, and ugly, and sad.  But, our God is a redeeming God and when He pricks your heart and says, I want you to care for one of my fatherless children via adoption, you just go for it.  I had to stop thinking about myself, and my American dream of lots of stuff and only 2 kids.  Going thru this adoption process and learning all that we have about the orphan crisis, our lives will never look the same.
-Although I wouldn't mind having a figure similar to that of Angelina Jo Lee, we are not adopting because she did, or because anyone else did for that matter.
-Yes, it's pretty safe to say our child will have dark skin.
-The agency we chose will not allow you to adopt out of birth order, and they have great reasoning behind it. So, the age of our child must be 10 months younger than our youngest child.
-I don't know why it's Africa and not the US, we just felt the Lord leading us there, and it's been confirmed many times.  I believe I will know one day.


Okay, my prayer warriors, pray for the Eth*op*an government and the US Embassy.  There are lots of changes being made that have slowed down Eth*op*an adoptions tremendously.  I am reminded that God is not bound by rulers.  Proverbs 21:1 reads The king’s heart is like a stream of water directed by the LORD; he guides it wherever he pleases.  I know that the Lord loves these children more than we ever could and I know that He sets the fatherless in families.  Pray pray pray!!

New Year, New Look, New Perspective

Happy 2012 from the Smith Family!!

I decided to ring in the new year with a new blog look!

There are so many emotions when the new year starts. . . I feel sad when I take down the tree, the lights, the garland.  The feeling takes me back to childhood when I thought I could hardly wait another 364 days to relive the wonder, the spirit, the awe of Christmas.  The other spectrum - the feeling of rebirth, newness, change, . . I feel this too. . . and it's refreshing.  But, the most crippling emotion is - fear. . yes, fear - what will this year hold?  I need to go to the gym more, read my bible more, fuss less, invest more, be more patient, be a better mother, friend, wife, daughter. . . and then, I hyperventilate just thinking about how I must do more of one thing and less of another, be more for myself and for others, and . . . it's quite exhausting.  How wonderful that the Lord meets us exactly where we are, and in the perfect moment.  I opened my email on 12.31 to find comfort for my 2012 fearful beginnings in a blog post from A Holy Experience (the blog of Ann Voskamp).  It makes so much sense that when our resolutions are made out of the longing of the flesh, they likely go unresolved.  Ann's writings have challenged me to make God sized resolutions that are for His honor and that can only be achieved through the Spirit's work.  Read below and enjoy Ann's post on 12.31.11

The New Year wears hope like a fragrance. I watch a new day of the first month of a brand new year come, breaking up over the horizon, up through hopelessness, there on the rim of our fields and the scent, fresh, carries in on the wind… carries me. Unspoiled winter stretches across our fields — like an unfurled year awaiting new ways of walking. How to trek out across a new year?

And then I catch a whiff of it, that stench. That decaying rank that I know all too well:  fear. Fear that I am impotent of change,  that new ways can’t be my ways. What if I will always be this way… (fill in the blank with fear of personal choice: self-centered, overweight, uneducated, unmotivated, debt-ridden, angry, anxious, apathetic, unfulfilled…) What if our family, this marriage, these children, stagnate, fester, languish? What if all tomorrows are just more of all our yesterdays? A thousand times I’ve told myself, “I simply must try harder.” Try harder to be more organized, try harder to educate our children better, try harder to be more after God’s heart. But I know it: trying harder only  results in harder trials. Self-striving nurtures self-hatred. Toiling in the flesh produces foiling in the soul. Looking back on the trail tromped through other years, I can see that to forge new tracks across this year will needs more than simply sheer effort, gritty determination. The wind lifts the branches of the spruce trees that tower outside my window. I cannot see the wind, where she comes from, where she goes, but I watch a thin veil of snow, blowing in with her, going off with her. And the wind whispers with rumors from Home: to track new ways, one needs wind’s hope, His Spirit. His Spirit wind covers our muddled tracks. The grace of His Spirit, fills our empty spots, intercedes, and gives us a fresh start every day. Because isn’t this the point? “God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible. What a pity when we plan only the things we can do by ourselves.” -A.W. Tozer The fear ebbs. Why have plans that I could do by myself? Where then would God figure in? Impossible resolutions require God solutions. Could there be a better place to start the new year? So this is plan for doing the things that only God can do….

1. SET BACK TO THE WIND Set back to the wind, and let His Spirit gently carry when the feet are too weak to carry on. Not to try harder but to pray new prayers that transport to new places: “Spirit, fill more of me. Lift me, Spirit.” Set out into New Year knowing,“It is the Spirit who gives life, the flesh profits nothing”(Jn 6:36). Set back to His Wind and let the Spirit Himself  fill the sails of life. 2. SET JAW Set back to the wind and set jaw to persevere. “For we add to our faith, perseverance.” The day will be long, the way deep. Discouraged, we’ll be tempted to turn back to familiar, rutted paths. But set hand he plow and refuse to turn back. For, really, what can go awry? The Spirit’s got your back. 3. SET TIMES Set, fixed, times to make certain tracks each day allows for the wind to move us, for inspiration to surprise us. Sporadic creativity or intermittent commitment generally fails to forge a steady trail. Progress is born out of rhythm, routine, regularity….set times. It is how the saints met God: Daniel prayed three times a day facing Jerusalem (Daniel 6:10), the psalmist purposed to praise seven times a day, the early disciples prayed at fixed hours (Acts 2:15). If set times are the necessary catalysts for spiritual growth, so are set times critically compelling elements for life growth. With back set to the wind, and jaw set, set habitual times to pioneer new habits.  Uncertain times lead to certain failure. 4. SET SIGHTS Every day keep the intermediate goals in clear line of sight. Set goals into achievable segments, and fix sights on the these midway markers: one pound shed this week, 15 minutes of organization, one date night a week with a child. Set sights close… “By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I am not turning back” (Phil 3:13 MSG). 5. SET OUT Simply, finally, take the first step. Again and again. The wind, hope on its wings, sweeps each new day clean before us, and sweeps over our tracks from yesterday, filling with grace. “Jesus said…You can’t put God’s kingdom off till tomorrow. Seize the day” (Luke 9:62 MSG). Seize the day!

Set jaw, set times, set sights, set back to the wind…and unfold arms, like wings extending. A New Year blows in. I feel that Spirit wind catch, lift. We are set to Soar into the impossible.

Happy Happy New Year!
The Smiths